“ unfortunately we’re going to have to go with someone else” There was a silence at the end of the line, until “sir? Mr. Williams?”.
“yes I’m here….” Tony bit into his knuckle, at least she couldn’t see his face he thought. No need to make this even more of a letdown. “Thank you for your time, I hope you’ll consider me for any upcoming positions”.
“Your application is on file” before Tony could end the call with grace the dial tone met him before he could collect his thoughts. How could this be happening again? This makes the 9th rejection he’s gotten in the last three months. Which wasn’t exactly true, this was the 9th audible rejection he’s gotten. He lost count of the ones that don’t bother with such a thing. But this last one hurt, he just knew the Callback would be different this time.
“why?” a voice said from within.
“because I tried my best, I’m a good worker” he spoke back.
“you I think that means anything? You’re fresh out of prison, what did you expect?”
“ I know it’s going to take time for people to see pass that but…”
“ time? You think they’ll see anything but a thug? You’re an idiot. Why bother with this when you know well well actually put money in your pocket?”
Tony shook his head as if to throw off the commentary that’s raged inwards. “ that’s not me, not anymore I’m different now!”
“ oh are you? Oh that’s right you are different, because before you were a man. Now look at you, begging for scraps and going hungry why you do it. What brought on this new change? Wasn’t prison supposed to make you stronger? How did you get so weak?”
“ I’m not week! I’m just doing what I have to do oh, for my family!”
“ family? You’re not talkin about Junior are you? You still think you have a chance? He was 3 months when you went in and now is 5th birthday is just a week away, what are you going to get him a lottery ticket?”
“I’m going to do right by my son, you’ll see. I’ll show him a man can lead an honorable life and still provide for his own”.
“ some men can do that, but I’ll let you in on a secret that you already know, you’re not one of them. You don’t have the skills or the clean record to make it in this world legitimately. All you can do is put food on the table and clothes on his back the only way you know how”.
Tony stepped to a chair and nearly collapse into it. “but my promise…”
To who, God? You think prayer is going to put food in your stomach or your sons’?
“ I told God that I would change, that I did change. I’m different now the Bible says…”
“ shut up! Don’t quote that book to me! This is reality, wake up! God is not here for you, oh but I am. I’ve always been there for you, you just have to trust me”.
Again silence, everything made sense when said that way. He’s been at this for three months with no results, except for one the conclusion that no one will offer him a second chance.
No one saw the change in him, so what was the point? “ I gave my heart to God because I knew I did wrong, my mother tried so many times to set me straight, drove me to church every week even on Thursdays. She was so happy when I told her that I accepted Christ, that I’m a Christian now, and from now on I will be the man of God that Christ called me to be. But every since then, it’s been Non-Stop bad news”.
“See what have I been saying? You don’t need no imaginary God to make your problems go away. All you need are those two hands and you can build your own kingdom, your very own Empire. I’ll help you”.
“ it’s almost like I’m in a… Battle”. HIS eyes popped open and he lept onto his feet, realization overtaken him as just whose voice he’d been entertaining. “who are you?”
“I’m you, I’m your friend I’m…”
“No shut up! That’s makes no sense. I know who you are, I know what you are. They told me this would happen, right when I decide to live right all this happens? No I’m not suffering because I’m doing wrong I’m suffering because of something right!”
“what’s the difference, suffering is suffering”.
“ No, I told you to shut up! In fact I think I’ve entertained you long enough, for the Lord is my shepherd I shall not want..
“stop..”
“ he maketh me to lie down in Green Pastures…
“I said stop”
he leadeth me beside the still waters.
“He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
“I will bury you!”
“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me..”
“ you think it’s been hard now? Wait till I get through with you! I will kill you oh, I will kill your son, I will wreak havoc on your life!”
“Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever” silence, Tony wondered where the devil went. Was he preparing another attack?
“He’s gone my son” a voice said, but this one was different. More calm, more…life.
“did I…”
“You’ve done well my son, you’ve done well”.
